i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
