he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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