in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
