You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
