The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i drank out of a bidet.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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