I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
