Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
FUCK WHALES
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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