i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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