You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
