Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
