He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize