i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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