Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
