oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
