Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
