Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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