I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
