I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
