tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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