these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
