its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize