Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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