I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
