One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
as a side note pls kill me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
