hell yes lets make some ravioli
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
