If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
