Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this boner is exhausting
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
