Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize