I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
