Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
