she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
