If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
