Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
