if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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