he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
