took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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