Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
