You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
