I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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