im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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