I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
