when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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