Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
