I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
