Where did you get a picture of my penis
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
