with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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