I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
