also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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