Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize