i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize