what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize