White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm always down for nudity.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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