Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
