Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
