Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
