At least make sure they are 18
Why
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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