oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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