Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
