So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
smell my finger.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
