love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
