take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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