Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
