9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
