Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize