id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
